Read Goodbye, I Love You by Carol Lynn Pearson Online


Good-bye, I Love You is the true story of a wife, her homosexual husband, and a love that transcended tragedy when he came home to die.First released in hardcover in 1986, Good-bye, I Love You was the first widely acclaimed memoir of what was to become a continuing tragedy: death resulting from the AIDS virus. Since problems related to AIDS take an ever-increasing toll, thGood-bye, I Love You is the true story of a wife, her homosexual husband, and a love that transcended tragedy when he came home to die.First released in hardcover in 1986, Good-bye, I Love You was the first widely acclaimed memoir of what was to become a continuing tragedy: death resulting from the AIDS virus. Since problems related to AIDS take an ever-increasing toll, the continuing popularity of Pearson's book is no surprise. It may be that no one has documented the heart-wrenching effects of homosexuality and the AIDS epidemic on the American family better than Ms. Pearson....

Title : Goodbye, I Love You
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781555179847
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 208 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Goodbye, I Love You Reviews

  • Shauni
    2019-04-30 18:34

    This book impacted me deeply. It is the memoir of an LDS woman, Carol Lynn Pearson, whom I love and admire. In this book, she shares the story of her own heart-wrenching relationship and marriage to Gerald, a homosexual man. After they have four children together, she learns that he has been unfaithful with other men. They try for several years to hold their marriage together, but end up getting a divorce. They remain good friends, and when he contracts AIDS in the early 1980s, she takes him in and cares for him until he dies. My brother-in-law (who is gay) and I (who am LDS) each bought the Kindle edition of this book at the same time. I read it to gain a deeper understanding of homosexuality, and he bought it to better understand Mormons' attitudes towards the gay community. The beauty of this book is that it accomplishes both. The underlying theme of the book is compassion and understanding towards everyone, even towards those who choose not to reciprocate that love.If I hadn't read this book in the gym while running on the elliptical, I would have been in tears. I was very impressed with Carol Lynn's compassion towards Gerald and her capacity to forgive him. At the same time, I loved how open and honest she was about her own emotional roller coaster, and that she didn't try to sugarcoat the pain she endured or excuse Gerald's actions. Rather, she used this experience as a tool to raise consciousness, sympathy, tolerance, and acceptance of homosexuality within the Mormon community, and on a more personal level, to help people who are going through a similar situation.I love this little poem she included in the memoir to illustrate her own resilience:I dim I dimI have no doubt If someone blew– I would go out. I did not. I must be brighterThan I thought.Carol Lynn Pearson has devoted much of her life to increasing awareness and understanding of homosexuality within the Mormon community. I'm looking forward to reading her other book on the subject, No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones.

  • Stephanie
    2019-05-21 00:51

    I give this book three stars because it was well written. However I take exception to how much she enabled her husband. I can't imagine what toll it took on her children to see his promiscuity and the results. I think she went one step too far beyond loving the sinner and loved his sins a little too much.

  • Rachel Wagner
    2019-05-02 18:41

    I liked this book but didn't love it. I admire Carol Lynn's perspective on the trial of her marriage and how she was able to see the good in her husband. I think her message of loving all people regardless of their choices is beautiful and empowering. However, I was unsatisfied with one part of the book. Her husband Gerald was supposedly doing something empowering by giving into his desires. What I saw though was a man who left his marriage, could never keep up a relationship and ended up miserable. It seems to me that finding his true self was the real lie.

  • Kristen MacGregor
    2019-05-04 21:37

    It was really such a sad novel. I'm sure she meant to leave it on a hopeful, meaningful, or perhaps just a reflective note. But it was really just a depressing book about the suffering she dealt with being married to a gay man- and then watching him die. I don't really feel like I received any insight except to see how great this woman's heart really is. I certainly don't know if I could have handled it as well as she did... There were pictures of her and her family in the back and I couldn't help but think- what a waste! A GORGEOUS woman [aged VERY well] was abandoned by her husband. Four BEAUTIFUL children were left fatherless. And a HANDSOME man died a horrible, early death- all because he couldn't [and wouldn't] control himself and his urges. If nothing else, I've realized that my own story doesn't deserve pity after a story like this- I truly pity this family and their unnecessary sorrows.

  • Jeanne
    2019-05-17 18:56

    I was sad that I read this book, as recommended by a friend. I always had enjoyed Carol Lynn Pearson's work--My Turn on Earth, her poetry, Duaghters of Light, etc. But this was disturbing. Her view of her own worthlessness as a woman came through loud and clear. She said she always knew she wasn't as good as a man, and her husband proved her to be right, by choosing men over her. She just went along with everything as if what he was doing was okay. Yuck. She even moved to San Francisco with her whole family just so he could have a wider scope of dating opportunities. Double yuck. CLPearson really disappoints me. After reading about her disturbing views and choices, I got online and saw her disturbing website. Too whacked out for me.

  • Emily
    2019-05-13 21:49

    I am not generally a Carol Lynn Pearson fan, but this book reminded me of my life that could-have-been and I am very happy that I escaped when I did!The book is a true story. So what happens is that she finds this totally awesome guy, Gerald, that she really loves. He loves her and show tunes. So they get married and have kids. Then he says, "Hey! I am gay. Didn't I mention that?" The end was sad. I cried. I don't do that very often in books. But then again I read a lot of non-fiction about stuff like real estate, rich people, industry, etc. Not usually tearjerkers. So here's where my life paralleled hers: I dated a guy with a VERY similar name, who liked showtunes a lot. Like he actually owned the CD to 'A Chorus Line' and knew (knows?) all the songs. Ok. So we dated for a year. In that year I would have totally made out with him 365 times. Guess how many times he took advantage of that? Did you guess only 300? 100? 25? WRONG! ZERO. Yes, never did he make out with me. Weird. My husband tells me I am a very make-outable person. Our total kissing was about 7 times. One little peck each time. My grandmother has kissed me with more passion. Ok, so every time I would plan a little time for the two of us to hang out he would manage to invite someone else, ie his best friend, little brother, his family, to come along. Fortunately I really liked all those people. Looking back now I think I actually was more in love with his family and he was my means to getting in. So you might be thinking that he just didn't want to be alone with me because he didn't like me. But think of your own husbands or boyfriends or NCMOs. For the most part would they have given up a make-out chance (before they met you) for any reason? Also, let me just get this off my chest: I hate video games. This guy loved video games more than life or cleanliness. He would wake up about 11 am and play video games, non stop, until 2-ish in the morning. Then he'd get up and do the same thing the next day. Did you noticed that I didn't mention bathing or changing clothes anywhere in his routine? I was super desperate (and stupid) and so I overlooked these things and only saw the good: he could identify which show and sing all the lyrics to every broadway musical ever. I don't particularly love Broadway, so I'm not sure why that was such a draw. I remember MANY evening when our "date" would be that he'd invite me over to (I am not kidding-these are his words) "watch [him] play video games." And I would do it. Oh man I was dumb. I never even played the video games. I seriously just went and watched. I guess in that case, we were both losers.Anyways, my theory is that he played video games to distract himself from his un-attraction to girls. Then he got addicted. Then he was like, 'Sweet! Now I have an addiction and therefore an excuse to avoid girls!' Ok, let me say this: I saw a commercial for the Tony awards the other night. I asked my husband if he wanted to watch. He gagged at the thought. Then we made out. I really love him.

  • Brian
    2019-05-11 22:50

    Loved, loved, loved this book. Every Mormon should read this true story of the fallout from a mixed-orientation marriage. It's a quick read, but well worth the tears it will elicit because it has the capacity to extend the reach of our love and empathy. The author must have kept a journal because every little slice of life is so rich with details of what was said and what was felt. The book overflows with authenticity. While exposing the worst of the collision between Mormonism and homosexuality, the book exposes the best parts of Mormonism too.Some have criticized the "infidelity" in this story, but I feel that few marriages ever achieve a love strong enough to survive the kind of trials this couple faced. Instead of letting their trial destroy their love, they were able to let it survive in a different form that was not what either of them expected or wanted. In that respect, their fidelity was "stronger than the cords of death." Others who find themselves in a mixed-orientation marriage choose to stay together, which is also a valid and beautiful demonstration of fidelity. I choose not to judge either path.

  • Robin
    2019-04-25 19:01

    This book was disturbing to read I think, for me because of the Taboo Topic. It was interesting for the same reason. However, that said, I did not like the judgmental comments made by so many against the author when her book was released in the mid 80's. I chose to keep a non judgmental attitude in my heart for a woman I do not know, and whose poetry and some of her other works I greatly admire, like "My Turn on Earth" lyrics and "Cipher in the Snow" short story and screenplay. This seems like it was a hard story to live, let alone tell. I do not know how I would have responded in her shoes, but I hope I would have been as compassionate. I believe strongly that for every circumstance human beings are placed in, the old saying "There but for the grace of God, go I" applies. Anything whether it be good or bad can happen to any of us. Thankfully, no one has every good thing or every bad thing happen to them, but all have a combination of wonderful to awful experiences. Amidst those experiences are common themes that amount to gains and losses. Such as birth and death, marriage and divorce, wealth and poverty, health and sickness, excitement and disappointment, etc. This is a story of exquisite gains and disheartening losses. At different points it evoked many feelings in me, at times joy and other times sorrow, but in the end an overwhelming sense of compassion and admiration. To face whatever joy and sorrow comes, no matter the depth of emotion or the potential for being misunderstood, with such faith, grace and dignity is greatly to be desired To the author I say thank you for sharing both the joys and sorrows "in the quiet heart ... hidden". Thank you, also, for reaching out to others who also quietly suffer through painful losses and exhilarating gains while they try to be the best they can be in an imperfect world.

  • Marc
    2019-05-07 21:43

    I just read a short story where these kinds of tell all memoirs were referred to as the "Look Ma, I'm Still Breathing." The book is about a religious Mormon woman, Pearson, who marries, in the 60's, a man she knows has had some struggles with homosexuality. Of course, things don't wok out too well and this tells the story of their marriage and collapse of their marriage. It was a quick read and pretty interesting. Although I think she was a little too easy on her husband when she finds out he has had affairs with men. I felt like they acted like since his homosexuality couldn't be helped, then of course he was going to cheat. I wondered if she would have had the same attitude of trying to understand her husbands "demons" if the cheating would have occurred with women. The author is also a little hung up on her place in the world, and her religion, as a woman. Pearson is also notable in the Mormon community for her poems, writing MY TURN ON EARTH and numerous church films including CIPHER IN THE SNOW. It does have an interesting message of acceptance, forgiveness and the attitude the Mormon Church used to, and still has, concerning homosexuality. But again, the major problem I had with the book is that Pearson tried to portray her husband as a victim, but I felt like he was selfish and acted without thought of his family, especially his kids. His being gay wasn't the issue for me, I just kept thinking - now if he were doing this all but with women, during and after the marriage, how would she have responded? Would she have portrayed him the same way? I don't think so.

  • Jaclyn
    2019-05-23 23:44

    I thought this book was very interesting. And I cried a lot. I was very impressed with Carol Lynn because she put her love of someone before the beliefs of the LDS church and the views and opinions of the culture at the time. I am sure that wasn't easy to do. So, bravo to her for being so loving and caring. (Isn't that what Jesus would want us to do??) AND how hard would it be to live a life, a perfect life, and then one day find out there is just one "little problem"? My heart ached for her and her children. I was quite intrigued that she still felt so strongly about her LDS beliefs after all of this occurred. I would really like to sit down with her and have a chat with her about it and see how she does this. I am curious. I started reading, but never finished, her book called, "No More Goodbyes," and I liked that book even more than this one. I hope to someday go back to it. I highly recommend both books! It may open your eyes and make you think differently about this subject.

  • Emily
    2019-05-21 19:45

    I was profoundly moved by Carol Lynn's story in Goodbye, I Love You - can't believe it's taken me this long to actually get around to reading it! In an almost unimaginably difficult situation, Carol Lynn chose love. Instead of hate or anger or despair or resentment, she chose to continue to love and serve and grow and share. I'm sure she had her moments, and she talks a bit about them in the book, but the beautiful love she consciously chose just radiates off these pages.While her feminism isn't front-and-center in this story, it's still there, an undercurrent throughout that informs her life choices. Her poetry is beautiful, too, and I'm grateful she shared a few of her poems in the book.For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.

  • Tanya W
    2019-05-08 00:59

    I'm interested in reading this again... I believe I read it about 20 years ago, and I wonder how I would feel about it today. Carol Lynn Pearson is a remarkable woman. Her autobiographical story about marrying and realizing that her husband had a strong ongoing same gender attraction which he was unwilling to deny and the consequences and outcomes of their story made a lasting impression on me. It certainly made me sympathize with the trials that gay people and their families can suffer. Thanks goodness the days of ignorance are largely behind us... that people who experience same gender attraction are not encouraged to just marry someone of the opposite sex to solve the "problem". I think this isn't perfect, but it's a powerful book about love and the power of love.

  • Chad
    2019-05-16 01:46

    Carol Lynn Pearson is a gifted writer. In this book she takes us expertly through the love, joys, sadness, confusion, and beauty in the life of a gay Mormon man.I love the way she wrote about how she learned not to be judgmental. She didn't claim to have any answers. She didn't claim that she understood. She didn't agree with him. She just accepted. And she just loved.Bring tissues.

  • Rae
    2019-05-03 02:03

    Pearson tells the story of her courtship and marriage to a man who is gay. She details how this fact affected her marriage and family and how she nursed him through his death of AIDS. It's a very sad and haunting story. I guess what really bothered me were the red flags that were ignored early on in the romance when either one of them could have altered the direction of their relationship.

  • Kayte
    2019-05-03 23:43

    I don't even know where to begin. Thank you for writing this. Having had this touch my own life this book reiterate my own families loving and up-lifiting response. LOVE that is all we are asked to do in this life.

  • Whitney
    2019-05-14 21:58

    I loved this book. It is a true tale of love, forgiveness, and learning. I hope everyone reads it to understand the gifts of Christlike love and the value of each soul. Definitely read this!!

  • Leanne
    2019-04-29 22:44

    Honest, painful, and compassionate.

  • Samuel
    2019-04-30 18:41

    I absolutely loved this book! It is a memoir of the deepest, most conflicting emotions, and yet love somehow redeems the tragic arch of the characters' lives. In a world full of people ready to judge and condemn anything outside of what fits their world view of "ideal" relationships and lifestyles, Carol Lynn Pearson shares her incredibly trying relationship with a man who had virtually no romantic attraction for her but with whom she still built a loving family together. This story is so sincere and well-written and it includes a more selfless love than most other characters, across fiction and nonfiction alike, experience. Gerald is full of life and love but he is torn between what his Church and faith have led him to believe (that heterosexual families are the only way to enduring happiness and salvation) and how he feels and yearns (for a kind of love frowned upon by a vast majority of society: intimacy and family with a same-sex partner). In spite of his homosexual attractions, he marries a woman (whom he confides in about his homosexual attractions but tells her that he has done his best to put these experiences behind him) and proceeds not only to have four children with her but also to share physical and emotional intimacy with her. In fact, he encourages her and makes significant sacrifices to help her become a published and revered poet and playwright. While he eventually succumbs to extramarital affairs, he genuinely strives to remain a good father to his children and as good a husband/friend as possible to Carol Lynn ("fidelity" becomes a painfully confusing area for both Gerald and Carol Lynn to understand and negotiate). Gerald's personal tale has all the makings of true tragedy; he strives to live by his principles for as long as he can, then he tries to reconcile his homosexuality with his spirituality and family life, and yet he never in fact finds the love of his life in any of his same-sex dating experiences and dies of AIDS in his 40s. Nevertheless, Carol Lynn is so gentle in her portrayal of her husband that she allows him to die not only with dignity but with an unquenchable hope for a better world to come and an enduring love sustained by his surviving family. She acknowledges, honors, and preserves in this memoir the light of her husband. He wrestled with many philosophical, spiritual, emotional, sexual, and societal pulls in his life, but he was always willing to share his light even as it waxed and waned with intermittent kindling in the face of life's unpredictable obstacles.Pearson wades through some of the most trying material on the human condition: reconciling love, faith, family, identity, and truth. And she does it without judgment or condemnation; she presents the unfolding as honestly and loving as anyone could imagine. She offers gentle insights into Mormon Church culture; while many of us privately may feel like others will judge us harshly for our imperfections as the expectations/commandments set a high bar, in lived practice, most Mormon communities readily rise to the task of serving others in need and rallying to their support with empathy and understanding. Surely others could have (and have--plenty of anecdotal evidence I'm sure) responded to similar situations with anger, bitterness, rejection, and abandonment. But not Carol Lynn. She loves her husband more than most people can imagine loving anyone: truly unconditionally. She supported him beyond mere moral support and actually listened to and strove to understand empathetically how he felt and why it weighed so heavily upon him. Faith informed their love, and in the end they let their faith guide rather than divide their love: family and all. I do not pretend to have all the understanding in the world--there are indeed myriad difficulties and exceptions to societal "rules" ("to everything there is a season")--but I do know that true love is hard to come by in life. As unorthodox and as unromantic as Carol Lynn and Gerald's relationship was, it was true love that they had one for another. And I love them both for their love and the effort exerted to communicate their love: in word, in deed, and in writing.

  • Braeden
    2019-05-15 22:49

    I can’t believe this was published 32 years ago? Did people - especially Mormons - even read it? I’m impressed with how progressive it is for its time (it’s not perfect, with a little ingrained homophobia, but I think considering the context I understand it). Ultimately this is a beautiful love story about two people who want the best of each other and want each other to follow their dreams. I’m not sure how love stories can be more pure and true than that.

  • Cara
    2019-05-16 01:57

    A story of Christ-like love. It helped me better understand a complex problem in my own "Mormon culture" better.

  • Nicole Greer
    2019-04-29 02:54

    I absolutely loved this book. I own it if anyone wants to borrow it.

  • Joshua
    2019-05-06 18:54

    Excellent. Heartbreakingly beautiful story of love and forgiveness. Carol Lynn has the perfect knack for storytelling that draws you in.

  • Keith
    2019-05-08 22:03

    Good account about husband who became gay and then died of AIDS. Kind of a wrenching story.

  • Tracie
    2019-04-25 21:37

    Review on my little family blog - "The book I couldn't put down this weekend was Carol Lynn Pearson's "Goodbye, I Love you." I knew her name because she wrote the lyrics to the LDS musical I grew up listening to on a record, "My Turn On Earth." It has my favorite lullaby ever. I'd never known her story at all until recently listening to her tell it on a very long podcast.The back cover summary of the book says:Gerald Pearson had been honest with Carol Lynn about his homosexual past, but both of them had faith that marriage and devotion to their religion would change his orientation. Love would conquer all. Then, after eight years of apparent happiness and the birth of four children, Gerald was no longer able to deny what he considered to be his essential self. Carol Lynn was shattered, her self-esteem all but destroyed. Their divorce, however, could not erase a lifetime of love and mutual support. Carol Lynn courageously stood by her former husband's side. Even when he contracted AIDS -- and came home to die.Carol Lynn is/was a much sought after speaker for LDS events. The Pearsons were married in 1966 and this book was published in 1986, a few years after Gerald passed away. Carol Lynn came to notoriety in Utah and across the LDS US with a book of her poems Gerald self-published because he believed in them so much. They sold like wild fire, and poetry books don't typically do that. Ever. She really is gifted with words, the book flows effortlessly and it's a pretty quick read.I really loved how honest she was about her pain as everything unfolded and her journey coming to understand and love Gerald despite how his choices hurt her to the core. I really appreciated how she articulated her struggle to understand the place of women in the LDS church and elevate understanding. I've had many of the same questions she sought answers to. Because of the heartaches she suffered, she became more empathetic and aware that there must be many walking wounded around her who also bore their silent sorrows alone. I can attest to this from my own experience although my trials have been different. All the while, she has clung to her faith in the gospel and remained active in the Church. I was moved to tears as she shared how her ward family came to her aid in Gerald's final days like we Mormons strive to do.With all the current publicity of civil rights for the LGBT community and same sex marriage initiatives in recent years, this book is a great introduction for Mormons and others of faith to understand a little of the agony someone experiences when they come to realize that their gender and/or orientation don't fit the mold. This is obviously more on what she and other loved ones go through as well. My heart breaks for those who realize that their hopes for the future, those that their culture and their faith prepare them for is not happening for them for whatever reason. I can only attempt to fathom what that must be like, but I am trying to tap in with empathy, sensitivity, and compassion to their stories. And this doesn't just apply to gay people, there are so many whose life circumstances aren't panning out as they envisioned.When these issues were first brought to my attention over ten years ago through loved ones and public policies of the day, I based my most of judgements on a lot of fear and not enough empathy or desire to be empathetic. While I still don't know what the best solutions are when it comes to various public and church policies, I do believe everyone deserves to be treated as a child of God, welcomed in our circles with love and respect. I think and hope civility and empathy in the discourse from all sides is improving but still has a long, long way to go.Carol Lynn Pearson when asked why she's taken up this cause rather than continuing her focus on the status of women has simply replied that women aren't attempting and committing suicide because of their struggle, gay members have and are. If we alienate these anguished souls, we throw them to the wolves. I am grateful for the growing wealth of resources for those like me trying to sort this out. I am now starting Pearson's followup book "No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones." I don't agree or haven't decided what I think about everything Pearson hopes for the future, but I am enjoying the questions I am asking myself and the discussions Ryan and I are having as a result.

  • Keli Wright
    2019-05-01 18:56

    I loved this book !! I feel like every Mormon should read it. I could not put it down and cried at the end

  • Tonia
    2019-05-07 22:00

    Her experience having married a gay man, having a family, learning of her husband's infidelity with men, trying to work through the difficulties, letting her marriage end, then nursing her ex-husband through to his AIDS related death, caused me to tear up and cry for three days. Not only was it a tragic, true story of love and loss, but it paralleled my marriage and the of several of my LDS friends. Pearson has consoled 25 years of Mormon women who wake up one day to find that their husbands was gay all along, and there may have been signs, but no one was brave enough or had the language to speak it. Pearson has given us the voice and platform to speak. I was also comforted by the fact that I was not the only duped woman in town.Now with 10 years distance from the end of my marriage, the countless hours of research with regards to homosexuality, and the conversations I repeatedly have with conservative religious people who remain convinced that bisexuality and homosexuality are sins, I shake my head in dismay. How could I blame my ex-husband when his choices were so limited and laced with rejection from his religious community? I am adamant that Person's message has not reached far enough: marriage does not cure, love does not alter a person's true self, heterosexual people must change our thinking and love unconditionally. Homosexuality is not a sin and I sound silly typing this in 2010 but the conservative right is still not completely listening. Which is why Pearson wrote part 2: No More Goodbyes Essential reading for every hard-nosed, religious, anti-gay person. Note: As quoted in No More Goodbye's in the early 1990's one leader in the LDS Church stated that the women of the church need to stop being sacrificed on the alter of marriage at the hands of trying to change bi and gay men into heterosexuals. But then Prop 8 happened....still work to do...

  • Lucy
    2019-05-12 23:45

    I do not love poetry. I do not understand poetry. In almost all cases, I will avoid reading poetry. So, when my mother-in-law lent me an autobiography of an LDS female poet, Carol Pearson, whose marriage to a gay-man ended when he left her and the church to pursue a gay lifestyle but who she eventually cared for as he succumbed to AIDS, it took me a few months to work up the courage to read this book. While it does contain some of her poetry, which includes several things I've read before, it is mostly an easy to follow chronology of her life and how certain things came to be.It moved me. Pearson, who obviously has a way with words, does a remarkable job evoking sympathy for a man who appears on the surface to be an undeserving of the emotion. Charismatic and full of life, Gerald Pearson is the man Carol falls in love with. When he tells her before they are married that he has had intimate relationships with men, she naively doesn't understand that he is gay. All I can say is that it was during the sixties and that lifestyle was obviously much less talked about and understood than it is today. She reasoned that he had sinned but had repented and by being married, all would be well. A whole lot of heartbreak later, all is not well, but Carol finds within herself an ability to love Gerald as she believes Heavenly Father loves Gerald and while she never really accepts his lifestyle or approves of it, she always continues to love him. Written in the eighties, when the AIDS epidemic was at its most terrifying moment, Goodbye, I Love You continues to be relevant as the struggle between the Gay and Lesbian movement and various religions of the world is under more and more scrutiny.

  • Jezzyka
    2019-05-19 23:57

    I almost feel like I have to give this book more than one rating.First, when I checked the book out, I did not know the author was Mormon. As an Ex-Mormon atheist, some of the references and philosophies made me cringe. I was glad, very glad, to hear her questions (some of the ones I had, about the way womanhood was approached, and the way the church was not only ignorant about homosexuality, but vengeful and cruel). In the end, however, she was still with the church. It was disappointing. Ignoring the "Mormon" aspect is ... impossible. You can't stop the voice in your head, "No! Stop rearranging! You don't have to accept any of this!" The one good part about the overly-Mormon sap, is that it's a nice thing for a Mormon to pick up and read, and maybe it will bring some understanding, and it should be relate-able and fairly gentle. Give it to your mom. The story itself is quite beautiful, particularly because it's true, and you see an inside perspective of a hidden world... one which is more common than you might believe. The story is a woman who is raised very much in an ideal Mormon way. And although she has a bit of feminism in her, she is very much a perfect Mormon. She meets and marries a perfect man who thought that through prayer and fasting and complete devotion, he could "get over" his homosexual feelings. If you have gay relatives or friends who have struggled, or if you've ever lost anyone, you may find yourself crying despite everything.

  • Nancy Silk
    2019-04-25 22:47

    There is amazing love and compassion in this true story written by Carol Lynn Pearson. She and her husband, Gerald, are close high school and college friends, both raised in the Mormon faith during the 60's and 70's. They pursue their higher education and careers and then it comes time for them to consider marriage. They openly discuss Gerald's homosexuality, which Gerald works hard to stay strong against and to live in accordance with his Mormon doctrine. Yet, after a few years, and having three children, Carol Lynn discovers that Gerald has been seen in a gay night club. The emotional upheaval wracks her brain. There are decision to be made. This real life story reminds me of the movie "Normal" staring Jessica Lange and Tom Wilkinson, who as her husband, Roy, seeks a sexual change after being devoted and married to each other for 25 years. When Roy faces his feminine side, for him, it is normal. Likewise, for Gerald, he cannot live a false life. In the end of this book, the reader discovers that once one loves another, love cannot be denied; that love in all forms is normal. This is one of the most marvelous stories of faith, devotion, and forever love that I have ever read. I'm so glad I chose this book to read.

  • Alicia
    2019-05-10 18:42

    Yes, I read two books today. (NERD!!) But this one was short. It's about Carol Lynn Pearson and her life. Her gay husband, his fight with AIDS and how she and their 4 kids dealt with it. It made me cry.I love her poems. And I have loved her poems since I was a little girl. Mostly because my mother loves her poems. Here is one (or an excerpt from one, I'm completely sure which) that she includes in the book:It's time, Father,For the gulls, I think.My arms shakeFrom flailing my field.I sink,Broken as the little stalksBeneath their devouring burden.I yield it all to you.Who alone can touch all things.It's time, Father,For the gulls.I will be still,And listen for their wings.Ohhh, I like her so much. And then reading this, her biography, or memoir or whatever you want to call it, made me so much more amazed for her. She is amazing. She is remarkable, and I don't know what I would do if I was faced with this type of trial.However, she infuses her humor and voice and intelligence into this whole book and it is amazing. If you don't know who she is, you should read some of her poetry books. They will make you sob and remember your purpose here on earth.